UCRAZY FOR JAPAN??!!

I still like Japan,I just dont love it anymore.
First time I came here, I only saw the 'appearance'. That was an all brand new experience to me... endless buildings.. cutting-edge technology.. city which never sleeps (lots of shops open 24h), all those colorful Japanese mangas, games played by teenagers so as seniors... Tokyo was just synonym of pure crazness! I enjoyed myself every night going to clubs, going back to my apart at 8 to have a shower and then heading straight to my agency. I felt so dizzy, dizzy by so much colors, fun, noise... my 5 senses have never been so 'awake'.

Now its quite different.
Im not going out that much (first and main reason is there are no party girls in my agency and we're not as close as I used to be with other models from my frist time here).
I see the city and people differently.
First,I already knew how Tokyo will be like when I'll be back. First time was so surprising than now it just seems more 'common'.. so Im focussing more on people than the city itself.
For my first trip, I felt so amazed by people's kindness. 'Japanese all have a big smile upon their face, all thank, all apologize, all bending'. They all look sooo nice and respectful.
But now, I see them more like "robots". They become 'inhumans' by showing off their 'best human behaviour'. its just TOO MUCH!
My feeling towards the Japanese society have considerably changed.
Relationships aren't that 'sane', and prooves are many:

Japan has one of the world's highest suicide rate.
Workers 'are crazy about work'. My jap friend, for example works from '8 to 8', 6 days a week, which doesnt leave enough time for social relationships.
At the same time, rape games are rising (the daily headline on CNN!). The supply just caters for the demand... a sexual demand!! making up for the 'sexual lack' back home.
A japanese friend recently asked me: "What do U waana do latter?"
I told him I'd love to work on psychology, anthropology, intercultural management.
When he first heard "psychology', he burst out laughing.
Indeed, Psychologist are uncommon, even unexistent in Japan. Going to a see a specialist dealing with mental pbs (or simply if you need to speak) is seen as a 'weakness'. Everybody is human, every single person can feel depressed sooner or later. they just find difficulties to accept it.
If the husband loose his job, he would certainly prefer hiding the truth til finding a new one. Too much pride? what are they afraid about?

UCRAZY BACK TO TOKYO

HERE I AM!!! BACK TO MY FAV CITY!
Havent been writing for a long time.
But I cant be happier as I'm now standing in my world's fav capital city!

TOKYO
the place where my new life started in october 2008. A new model's life.
However, I see and feel the things very differently.
I'm in a completely different state of mind; nothing to compare with my first trip.
I felt like a caged bird and Tokyo was the key.
Freedom was the master word. Enjoyment, fulfillment, adventure, new experience... but always totally under control toward my choices and myself first.
The 'every single night going out' habit turned into "having a rest in my Akasaka apartment" and "wisely going out".

I'm lucky enough to have R. who's such a great friend.
I everyday learn more about the Japanese culture. Rituals, process, mind.
we can't halp going back to my a Takoyaki place.
Takoyaki is my favorite snack and more generally the tasties food I've never tried.
What is Takoyaki? Takoyaki are fried octopus balls sprinkled with dry fish, mayonnaise, but it wouldn't taste that great without the Okonomiyaki (kind of DELICIOUS Japanese crêpe) sauce. this sauce is made with Saké vinegar, honey and mashed vegetables.
A "best of" with a Suntory whisky highball drink. miammiam glouglou.

I also appreciate spending time with Charlotte, my 16 year-old english model friend and roomate soon. She's incredibly mature and 'down-to-earth for her age.
I get along with her much more than anyone. We at least find other topics than boys, food and diets, listening to (or suffering from:) the extraloud clubbing music playing the whole day in the car!
The feeling to get quickly stupid. Such conditions actually boost to study.
I sometimes consider studying as a 'shelter' from stupidity.

Thats the end of my fourth week-end in Tokyo.
Tomorrow the castings will start again.
My agent Hope will serve as my usual waking-up alarm and will be waiting for me downstairs.